Saturday, July 16, 2016

No Patience. Public Service.


Today was a bad parent day. You know when you have those days and nothing huge happens but you just know you are not at your best. Your kid is whiny. You are tired. It is hot. Your kid is just bugging. That is the day I had today. 

After forcing my whiny kid to nap (he is 6) and then trying to get an errand done at Target (we left a half filled cart in the aisle and left) I knew I just needed some alone time to regroup. After 40min alone including a 15min power nap it was back to parenting for me. I decided to bike/scooter with my kid to my favorite spot around the corner from our house for an arnold palmer (the kind you dream about good). 

All was good as we made our way to the shop. Once I had the beloved arnold palmer in my hands, I wanted to sit and enjoy. But my kid grabbed it from my hand and insisted on biking home. I decided that was probably better for all. As we make our way across the street my kid bumps his bike into my scooter and the beloved arnold palmer hits the ground. But the gods were on my side and it didn’t bust open. Amen. But I yelled and told him to watch where he was going. 

On the other side of the street a woman decided this was the perfect moment to publicly let me know that I was not at my best today. The conversation went like this:

Oh So Pleasant Lady: You really need to be nicer to him. You need more patience (shouted from 25 feet away).
Me: I don’t really need you telling me how to parent. Thanks.
OSPL: You really need to calm down. It isn’t fair to him.
Me: I’m sorry, did I ask your opinion.
OSPL: I am a parent so I know that you need more patience.
Me: Do you think I don’t realize that I have lost my patience today. Do you think this is a surprise to me? Do you think I need you to tell me? If you really want to be helpful then why don’t you come over here and ask if you can take my kid for 2-hours and give me a break. Because I know I lost my patience.

Needless to say that at this point she got in her car, disgusted with me and drove away. I am not sure what she thought she was going to accomplish. She should have seen me at Target when I walked out of the store. I didn’t even get into the fact that I am a single mom (by choice so don’t feel sorry for me) and was just having a shitty day, needed a break and the three sitters I called were all busy. 

What I needed in that moment was someone to tell me to hang there, this too would pass and all would be good. Or ask if they could hold my arnold palmer while I scooted home.

Many times when I am out and my kid is being an angel and someone else’s isn’t. I often think, if only I could give her more patience to get through this moment because it too will pass. But I certainly don’t yell at the woman. In fact, I don’t even think that this is her fault. 

Next time I plan to walk over and say “I’ve been there, it is hard. Can I help you?” This is not the first time I have had a rough day in public. But this is the first time I have been yelled at for losing patience. And it doesn’t feel good.

So I say to all the moms out there. Be Kind. Support. Help.

1 comment:

  1. Oh geez, totally eye rolling here. The very most I'll ask a snappish or obviously overloaded mom is "Hey, you okay? Need a hand?" That's about where my business ends (unless I hear "Yes, please, I could use a hand" in which case Grandma in Waiting will come to the rescue!) Because some days are diamonds, some days just suck. And sometimes your cool is hard to maintain.
    Hang in there, kiddo. It's okay to lose patience now and again, seriously. Makes you human!

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